I need a cattle prod

I wish I had a cattle prod so that I could use it when I walk down the street. There are several annoying habits that people have that need to be corrected pronto.

1. Not walking in a straight line. I swear people are like heat seeking missles. They will find a way to veer into you or try to drive you off the sidewalk.
2. Know your dimensions. Do not try to squeeze through a small opening in traffic when you are clearly larger than the hole.
3. Watch your accessories. Make sure that your purse, bag, umbrella, etc. does not rub up against other people when walking
4. Do not monopolize the sidewalk. If walking in a group, realize that you will not be able to walk side by side the entire length of your walk. It is polite to walk in a single file line when others are coming in the other direction.
5. Mind your personal space. When there is ample room to walk, do not walk directly in back of the person in front of you and breathe heavily and drag your feet. It is totally annoying.

I declare all of these items punishable by a long zap by a cattle prod that will disorient and take the offender off of their feet and leave them in the gutter. Grrr!